Scandals are just people forgetting their manners.

Ok, here’s the first of these which might start some conflict.  And I’m down with debate so feel free to respond in the dissent.  But remember, I'm not comming at this as "because you're a woman you MUST do this", its more of a "because you're a woman these are things which might be fun to be able to know how to do..." only I feel like that doesn't completely describe it.  Think of it this way, in alot of ways, this list is gender neutral, however, I doubt men's magazines have the same retarded lists that women's magazines have.

Do (as in every woman needs to be able to):


Cook




Tango, swing dance, salsa or waltz:

And while we're on the topic of secret work outs:
Throw a football, or a baseball and a frisbee.


Apply eyeliner, concealer and pick a good foundation:




Be able to deliver a really good pick up line/start a conversation with a stranger:
Also:  Be able to effectively tell someone off.

Until next time!

*GA*

So I keep seeing these top ten lists in magazines that are like “Ten things every woman should ::blank::” and then I flip to the list and they include retarded things like “buy one really expensive purse.”  I mean… wtf right?  No, every woman does not need an expensive purse, a pair of really trendy shoes or a hair cut like Jennifer Aniston’s or Mandy Tyler Moore’s or something.  And a lot of the time I feel like these lists miss some of the, or most of the, fun things about being young single and working a 9-5 job you don’t care about while you’re trying to make your way into… what every you want to get into.

So in the spirit of going “oh for the love of all that’s good and holly what!?” and to cause some drama, I’m sure, I bring you:  

Gwen’s lists of shit every woman needs to do, try, say, buy or have sex with, at least once (and I’m going to be just as sol on some of this shit as you are).  Today I bring you try, because other wise you’d never read the whole thing and I’ve got to find a ton of links for everything else.

Try (as in everyone needs to try at least once):

Dramatically alter your appearance and not warn your friends and co-workers


Getting a tattoo, piercing or something else you would “so never do,” like sky diving:


Leave the waiter/bartender/latte boy/girl/monkey your phone number.



Get a free make-over…. At the wrong make up counter…



Eat a type of totally foreign food to you:



Cook something totally ludicrous.

Current Weight:  226 (-4)
Current BMI:  36.5

How have I been doing;

Eating:



Working out:

Extras:

Ok, I'm going to come up with a list of ten things but one of those ten things I think everyone girl should do at least once is dramatically change their hair.  I'm talking new cut, new length, new color, new part the works and in that spirit I did that... today.  The Evil Taco and I are over, he's moved to another state and I'm starting to think about dating again.  This calls for new hair.

I've been obsessing for the last two weeks, as The Lovely Ms Ashly and New Clear Nessa (say it out loud, get the joke?) can attest to, to what to do with  my hair.  Do I want to make it super short, just clean it up, cut my hair like this movie star or that one?  Do I want to try a new color?  Do all over pink?  Just make the color unified?

I had this time five months ago dark red hair with blonde high lights.  Then I decided what the hell i want pink hair.  So I changed my hair to blonde (like super blonde) and parted it in the middle and dyed the under half pink.  But it wasn't enough for me, I wanted to change it again.... and then i needed to look for a real job and I had to get the pink out  and I ended up with mostly kind of golden blonde hair and then my natural dish water blonde roots right?  That was hot.  Along with that there was a vague red tone almost to half of my hair.  Lets just say, it had to go.

It was also pretty badly damaged.

I had sent The Lovely Ms Ashly to my stylist Amanda the Fabulous about a month ago, and she fell in love with her too and eagerly two weeks ago I made an appointment, I was making my hair better, newer, different.

This is what I looked like before I left the house this morning:


Sorry camera phone and shaky this am

Another sample would be the head shots my best friend took for me a few months ago:


I'm tryign to make it hard to read my real name.

And so I showed up at Ulta (fabulous full service hair salon but with really reasonable prices).  And Amanda was waiting for me and I said:

"Let me go grab instyle and show you what I want".  So I did.

My mother when she was my age, and now me, have the same problem with stylists:  I say "cut it off" and they say "but but but!  You have such lovely hair!!!"  And don't take enough off.

I showed Amanda the picture of Sophia Bush that I wanted my hair to look like, said "that only a little longer" and she said (basically) "Hell fuckin ya, what about your color?".  After a brief discussion about the color (brown, but warm, not too dark) she and I discussed the process (she wanted to treat my hair so the color stayed better, I said not to because if I hated the color it would be easier to process over it at a later date) and she went to mix up a color.

And I started to get nevous.

So Amanda came back over and said "I'm going to do your length first, so that we don't waste dye and so you don't chicken out"  which I was thankful for.

And she took off about six inches off my length  Back story: my hair's been about half way to my waist since I was 6 and waist length since I was 12.  So she took length off first and killed my dead ends.

Then she put a nice warm red toned brown on my hair.  And then she started cutting.

First, we moved my part so that it was off to one side.  To the left.

Then she started working on layers.  Then she shaped up the front.

And we came out with this:


taken in my mom's bed room... ohhh the myspace angle...

I love my new hair.

EDIT:  If you click on NewAgeAmazon's name each of the "words" will take you to a different page of the photos from the show.  Watch her blog for a review in the next few days.

For the like, official buzznet stuff on the concert mosey on over to New Age Amazon’s page when she gets the pics up, although it might take till Monday.  I’ve seen some of them un-edited, and they’re really good.

I am not the world’s best concert reviewer, the depth of my reviews tend to go with “Damn!  That was awesome man!” but I’ll try.

What I look for in a good concert is that the quality of the performance is at least the quality of the performance on the CD.  No performer, individual or group, should ever be so cleaned up in recording that your live show bares no resemblance to the recording, and if you can’t achieve that, then you should pay more dues, (as in work harder on your stage show).  And I’m pretty neurotic about this, the bands I really like, and will consistently pay to see, have a live show which lives up to their albums, Incubus, Alanis, Bare Naked Ladies, Tegan and Sara, Le Tigre, Go Sailor, I could keep going but you get the gist.  For a concert to be good, in my eyes, you have to be as good on the album, or better, or perform a different enough variation on your album’s songs, that I don’t notice the fact that you’re not as good.

Which these three bands (does Sara Bareilles count as a band?) achieved.  They were at least as good live as they were on their albums or in their singles.  I was unconcerned about that being the fact with the Crows, they’ve been around so long that if they sucked live, someone would have told me, however, I was really, really pleasantly surprised by Maroon Five and Sara Bareilles.


Go get her CD.  Now.  Its ok, I'll wait...

Firstly, Sara performed a very short set.  I’d say maybe five songs, maybe six?  Six seems right, mostly from her album, one Beatles cover.  And she was phenomenal.  Her music is really heavily Jazz and Blues influenced, and it worries me when I see modern singers with those influences performing, because some of the technique can really fuck you up on stage if it was just a good cut from the album.  And I’m pleased to report that live she’s even better than she is on the album.  The concepts of  improvising on a theme are not lost on her, and its fab-u-los.  She takes her songs, which seem like the most sing-along-able melody lines available to her, and makes them more intricate, more emotive on stage.  And she is just adorable.  She dedicated one of her songs to “everyone out there with a psychotic ex” (Morningside).  She just… she was awesome…

Anyhow, then she was followed by the counting crows.  Which was…


Didn't they start out as a four piece band?

I hate to say this, I was vaguely disappointed in their set.  It wasn’t so much in the performance, it was almost like the one or two of the old songs that they did (other than Long December) bored the hell out of them, they didn’t Do Round here or Accidentally In Love, but he did Mr Jones, which he seemed to be bored with, and the two songs I was hoping for were Anna Begins (even if hearing it does make me mad) or  Holiday in Spain (which I was really hoping for but was too obscure for them to play it).  But it was a satisfying set anyhow.  Duretz was ether really stoned or he’s perma-stoned.  And he seemed to be really proud of their newer music.  He also dances worse than ANYONE I’ve ever seen, and when you see Jesse Michaels (now of Common Rider, once of Op Ivy) dance on stage, yea, you understand when I go “he’s bad”.  Although I got a little hot when Duretz sang about riding a girl like a mustang… mmmmmmm… really thinly veiled metaphores…

And then there was maroon five.



First, who didn’t clue me in on the part where the lead singer is hot as Damn.  Like… wow… I know every third song they do is about how badly he wants to have sex (like Eve6) with everyone.  But at the same time, who left me out of this fucking loop?

Second, what a show.   Wait, wait, let me be more precise.  What a fucking show.  I mean… to be even more exact, what a fucking awesome show.  These guys… they just… their energy and…  awesome.  It really was.  I wasn’t expecting much out of them, I’d heard they were good live, but I wasn’t expecting such an energetic really good show…

And then he gave his guitar to a fan at the end of the set.  Holly mother of god man.  I hope the chick who ended up with it knows how to play it ya?

As for the rest?

I'm hot, bet you didn't know that ether...

The people in front of us and behind us didn’t know how to have fun at a concert.  They were dressed in their urban business casual best (maybe they came right from work?  Sure, I‘ll give them the benefit of the doubt), and one of each party was pregnant (I’m sorry, really busy concert, why is your like, 6-8 month pregnant wife there?  That’s not safe man). 

In front of us, the tall guy, was pissed off and kept covering his ears when a) the bands got loud (hello!  Concert!) and whenever the Lovely Ms Ashly and I cheered.  And they gave me dirty looks for dancing.  I explained it like I felt like a college freshman who skipped right to law school.  Not that I’m complaining, they were great seats ya know?  But still…  Have fun assholes.  I mean I’m sore today from dancing all night, and just, having fun.  You should be TOO!!!  And if you’re so worried about your pregnant SO having something happening to her shell out the money for the privet boxes yo!

So next time Ms Ashly/Buzznet send me to a serious concert I’m doing two things:

I’m making Ashly a shirt which says “I’m with buzznet, f*k off’.  And making one for myself (and Hollow1005) which says “Dance mother-f*kers”.

And wearing sneekers.

*GA*

I had like, another baby?!  Cool!  Cause, Love Music Angel BABY

Gwen gave birth, at last, to a boy.  MSNBC reports:

They named it fucking WHAT?!?  ZUMA NESTA ROCK!!??  I thought the British didn't let you do that... oh wait, that's where Apple was born...

Mother and baby are fine, relaxing for the time being.

People gives us a more in depth explanation of this totally stupid name:



Mariah Carey, Beyoncé, Miley Cyrus, Fergie, Rhianna and Carrie Underwood are joining forces for a charity record called Just Stand Up.  Produced by baby face, and proceeds will go to Stand Up To Cancer, this thing that Hollywood is doing.  They will perform it live on September 5th as part of the Stand Up To Cancer telethon that CBS, ABC and NBC are doing.

Speaking of Rhianna, she, Paramore, Pink and T.I are slated to perform at the VMA's, fucking SCORE.  And to legitimize my excitement about this we bring you:



Arianrhod and Newageamazon Live Blog the VMA's, YAY!!!


If we move slowly enough Papa Jo won't notice that we're leaving

Pete and Ashlee are looking at east coast homes to raise their family.  I smell breaking with papa Joe coming!  I mean how can he control every aspect of her life if she's living on the other side of the country!?


I could be creepy

Jerry O'Connell and Rebecca Romijn are expecting twin girls, and I can't tell if Jerry is being cute or creepy when he jokes about the days when they will be dating:

They also joked about naming the twins Mary-Kate and Ashley... which seems like a TERRIBLE idea...

While gay people have been able to marry in California for a while now, the ultimate race to the alter has been won.  Ellen and Portia were married over the weekend.  And three days later we've got a raft and a half of stuff on it.  For starters:

(source)

ZOMG!!!  Look at how fab they look!  And Portia's dress is just... so great, and Ellen and wow...  They both wore clothings by Zac Posen, Ellen, of course, wore pants, and Portia wore the girliest dress she could find (pink and backless and floofy). 

The wedding was an intimate affair, officiated by author Wayne Dyer and attended by both family and friends.  After the ceremony guests and brides were treated to an all vegan feast in their back yard, topped off by a vegan red velvet cake.  Decorations were flowers and candles from Mark's Garden (a company, not Panasonicyouth).  

Ellen has come out with a plethora of quotes on the wedding and marriage:

But the gushing continues:

Also:

But Ellen isn't the only one talking about the wedding:

So congratulations ladies, I'm so happy for you, and I hope that I get to do more reports like this in the future... like when they splice your genes and produce a child.

Signing Off

*GA*

Christina Applegate is taking the long view of her battle with breast cancer — the really long view.

Speaking on ABC News’ “Good Morning America” in her first interview since announcing her diagnosis earlier this month, the “Samantha Who?” star said she had a double mastectomy three weeks ago. She’ll undergo reconstructive surgery over the next eight months.

“I’m going to have cute boobs ’til I’m 90, so there’s that,” she joked in the interview, which aired Tuesday. “I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.” (Source)

So that sucks.  She'll under go reconstructive surgery over the next eight months, however this decision has made her cancer free.

 

John Mayer dumped Jenniffer Aniston's bony talentless butt.  To be with me.... shut up let me have my delusions.

Well no, apparently he broke up with her because she's crazy.  She (reportedly) had his ex-girlfriend kicked out of a gig, and reportedly does the same with fans who are too pretty as well.  And on top of that... she's... old.

The Mirror UK claims that its because:

"John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

"Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

"She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.

"Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she's simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken. (source)

Want the irony here?

J Aniston wants a time line out of John, but Brad left her for Angie because, well, one, I mean can you blame him, and two, cause he wanted to have children, and she didn't want to give up her carrer... but was asking the same of John?  Right....

Anyhow, moving on...

Tyra Banks is putting a Transgender man... woman... she's M to F, on the new season of America's Top Model.

I think this is kind of cruel, mostly because of the way the fashion industry works, she's not going to be able to get gigs, even if she does win.  She as a person who will detract from the clothing, because she is Transgender.  Not that there is anything wrong in the fact she's transgender, that's not where I'm going.  But designers want headlines to read "::Designer's:: Fall Look Aweinspiring" and not "Belinda, transgender model, walks for ::designer::" see where I'm going with this?  I mean if she gets world afterwards, awesome for her, but I doubt it will happen, maybe because I have no hope for American Society.

Look, here's what is:  I'm totally in favor of this, I just worry it might not help ya know?

Mosy on over to my poll (with no pics, still updating from work, will fix it tomorrow) and weigh in, or comment in here... or not whatever..

That's about as best as I can do today.  Updating from work blows, but I was running late this AM so I couldn't update from somewhere... else... I'll add pics and stuff tomorrow.

Don't forget to tip your waitress and try the veal.

Night folks.

*GA*

Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes died over the weekend.  The world is a little less funny today because of this.

From here

The church of Scientology had this to say about the death of Hayes:

Tom Cruise was un able to be reached for a response, although he was seen screaming in his underwear, part of the Scientology ritual of the dead. (source)


HELP HIS HAIR IS EATING HIM!!!

Although I haven't seen the out pouring of support for Hayes as I have for Mac, www.WWTDD.com has some quotes from famous people on Mac's death.

Hayden Panettiere's father was arrested over the weekend for spousal abuse. 

Alan Panettiere was taken into custody shortly 3am Monday morning at the family's West Hollywood home after an incident where the 49-year-old allegedly struck his wife Lesley in the face. (source)

Shit... I mean I guess its good that Hayden can regenerate... Cause, you know, if he hit her she'd be fine...

wwtdd.com has this to say on the reasoning behind the abuse:


(I'm sorry this isn't more of an update.  I'm running out of battery and I have to use internet in public places now...)

*GA*

My net is out at home and updating from work is hard so I'm not goign to give you gossip today.

I will update tomorrow and promise something good.... even if I have to make it up like Perez Hilton does.

So in the meantime, I give you:

Paris Hilton pokes fun at campaign commercials – and herself – in a new spoof video featured on FunnyOrDie.com.

Last week, Hilton distanced herself from Republican presidential candidate John McCain's campiagn commerical likening Democratic candidate Barack Obama to the heiress and Britney Spears.

In the new online video, Hilton, wearing a bathing suit, addresses her constituents while lounging poolside. "Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity too," she says. "Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot.”

Hilton goes on discuss the best place to tan, her solution for the nation's energy crisis, and her own vice presidential running mate ("I'm thinking Rhianna.").

As for her competitors Obama and McCain? Says Hilton: "I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

A spokesman for the McCain campaign, Tucker Bounds, released the following statement: "Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan." (source)

That's all I have time for ya'll today.  I promise goodies tomorrow...

*GA*

Good.  Good.  there would be no justice in this world if he had passed...



Pete Wentz is a total geek.  He keeps talkin about all the prep work he's doing for this baby.  Like watching Look Who's Talking and Look Who's Talking Too

Additionally he's recieved the piece of advice from his father to have no expectations as to what his child will be like, because they'll go the other way from that.  That seems sound.



Anne Hathaway is soon going to have racy pictures of her in the public record.  When they raided a storage space of Rafiello... whatever, her ex-boyfriend, there were racy pictures of Anne.  And the reason they'll become part of the public record is because they were taken by a professional photographer, who was paid for via those I'll gotten gaines, which Roberto is being investigated for... So entered into evidence is naky pictures of Anne... its only a matter of a few weeks before they're published... (source)
 
vs

Obama and McCain will be appearing on Last Comic Standing, showing their new "campign" adds.

Ohhhh I might actually have to watch that.  The ep is slated to air on Thursday.

Keira Knightly decided that the only way she could make it though her My Fair Lady audition was to be totally trashed.

However, Knightley soon realized that calming her nerves also had its drawbacks. "The problem with doing it is that alcohol dehydrates you, which isn't very helpful for singing. But they said it was alright." (source)

Keira Knightly is SO cute.  She's just... she's so adoreable and needs to live in my house so I can bask her in adoreableness...

Eva Mendes' new Calvin Kline add has been banned from tv until after nine pm.

the director of the add blames the Bush administration and their conservitive values on him having to edit his artistic vision... for a commerical...

That's all for today folks, remember to tip your waitress and eat your vegetables.

*GA*

After spending alot of time thinking way too much as to why I always end up dating people who expect me to pay if we're going to go somewhere nice I concluded that having a sugar daddy, someone who wanted to take me places, buy me things, take me on vacations etc... I mean, it would be nice ya know?

Anyhow, about six weeks ago I stumbled onto a website advertising itself as a place to find a sugar daddy, and I thought "shit, I should sign up for this and blog it on buzznet".  So I went in search of a website that I felt like I could deal with.  I was looking for some very simple requirements.

1. Free
2. Easy to use
3. Profiles are searchable by place
4. did I mention free?

A shocking number of these sites make the people seeking sugar daddies pay for the service.  And an even more shocking number of them make you pay alot, which seems backwards to me, since isn't part of the point of getting a sugar daddy to prevent the brokeness which is being a young woman?  Whatever.  I've always said "If some man wants to spend money on me, take me nice places, pay for me to live a life of leisure?  Sure I'd do it, I mean I'm not going to quit my job or something, but hell, it'd be nice for a while".  I see nothing wrong with this, its a business proposition, at least it is to me.

Alot of this is that, to me, this is one of the oldest arrangements between men and women in all time.  Think about it, men have always had mistresses, woman have always had kept boys.  If you were inclined to this kind of an arrangement you figured it out.  English men had French mistresses, the Spanish had well... the French... the French had the Italians, and so on and so forth.  And in places other than the US the idea of keeping a man or a woman of leisure is, well... something the rich do.

Anyhow, I'm not seeking so much a mistress relationship, because um... having sex with people who are old enough to be my parents seems creepy.  But hell, some old man wants to dress me pretty and have me on his arm in public, sounds ok to me.  In Japan its called Enjo-kōsai or compensated dating.  While sometimes you exchange money for sexual favors, oftentimes that is not part of the deal,

Which doesn't sound TOO bad.

So about a week ago I search, and I search and I search, and I settle on a website:  Seeking Arrangements.  As these sites go this one had what I was looking for as stated above, with and extra perk, I could pick favorites.

When you sign up you pick your gender, what you're looking for, what not.  You also pick how much you want to make per month, anything from a couple hundred to much much more.  When I signed up I picked "negotiable/open ended" which I thought was like, low end of the scale, then I checked out some of the other "sugar baby" profiles and realized I picked high end.  Shit.

They also make sure to say that no escorts or hookers are to sign up.

Anyhow, I sign up, and start searching, pick a few choice adds (I want big booties!) and some from people who seem like they might be... um... interesting, and start clicking to make my profile more active and find a few thing about this site:

• The men on the site seem to vacilate between "I'm looking for love" and "I'm looking for two or three days a month".
• One guy wants to have an affair before he gets married next year, he wants to give the girl 400 dollars every time he sees her, three or four times a month (that's more than I make in a month, even at my old job which paid me better).
• Some of them are these pathetic old guys who want a "companion"

As to me I'm sure you're wondering: don't you have some kind of moral compunctions about this?

From a feminist perspective:  No.  I don't.  I am using my sexuality overtly to get what I want, theoretically.

From a moral perspective:  No, I don't these men are (essentially) signing up to be used.  They are seeking relationships where they give a woman money, jewelry, take them out and on vacation, in exchange etc...

The real hesitancy I am having about this would be breaking it to my mother.  But I'll jump that wall when I come to it.

So I got up today too early and I tried to take a nap but I couldn't so I worked out, which was ok, but not as good as napping.

Then I tried to get to work early enough to get something real to eat, since I'm done at ten and eating that late is bad for me, but that didn't work out. 

So I stopped at Rite Aid and wanted to pick up this week's people with Brad and Angie's new babies and they were out of them.

And then I stopped at Barnes and Noble to try to get it there but they were out TOO!

And then I was going to grab a sandwich cause I had a little time but the place I wanted to go to was closed!

So I was looking at MSNBC and they had this video of the pandas at the San Diego zoo climbing all over this "cake" made of ice and bamboo and I'm sure other stuff, cause it was the baby panda's birthday and it was SO CUTE and so I was going to post it but Buzznet wouldn't accept the URL.

And so now I'm working all alone cause my manager is doing something and I'm hungry and have nothing to READ.

:-(

*GA*

Morgan Freeman was in a really really really bad car wreck this weekend. 

There is no news on his condition as of yet.  Kelsey Gramer is in and out of the hospital, and now this.  If these two bite it before Jack Black and Adam Sandler I know the gods hate us now.

Morgan, we have hopes for a swift recovery and wish to see you in the next Batman movie and being fabulous between now and then.



Christina Applegate has breast cancer.  They caught it early so its believed she will be ok.  Sucks for her, her TV show Samantha Who is doing well and she's at last getting over her Kelly Bundy status and now this.  :-(

We (that's the royal we) wish you well Christina, and hope for a swift recovery for you as well.


Miley when she went through her now legendary Vampire phase.

Who the hell isn't paying attention to this girl.  What Would Tyler Durden Do has new pictures of Miley being... I hate to say it.... skanky posted.  I can't bring myself to post MORE pictures of wet (with water) and in her underwear. 

There are contrasting opinions on this.  Some people think that Miley herself is "leeking" them, because she wants to get out of her Disney contract.  Some people think that her father is doing it for the same reason.

Further more, if you notice this one had to have been taken by someone else.  Like, say, her dad or brother?  That's just creepy yo...

Let me know what you think, take my poll here

Then there are these times when, sometimes, Miley is a total teen geek.  ie:  Back stage at F'n MTV she was talking to Pete Wentz and said to him:




Bono is slated to be the god father to Angie and Brad's babies Knox and Vivienne.  Damn those kids are getting luckier and luckier.

Mary Kate Olsen is refusing to help police figure out where Heath Ledger got his drugs until she has immunity... so that when she reveals that they were her's she can't be arrested for it.  Everyone else has been very helpful in trying to figure out about this death, but MKO...

Does anyone else notice that the mouth is frowning?  If this were American it'd be smiling.

Discuss.  

This is an old pic but is it just me or does it look like Brit is that geeky friend that Paris is simply putting up with?  Like I feel like the exchange in the picture is going

Disagree with me?  Caption it yourself leave it in a comment!

Brad and Angie have sold the pics of the new babies to People nationally and Hello! internationally.   The money (which according to rumor went for like 15 mil) will all go to charity.  Damn those people are giving.  I mean when Brad was with J Aniston I bed if they'd had babies she'd've wanted to put the money into building a lifesized statue of herself, because she was like, Rachel from friends and thats the last time she did anything in tearms of acting, that anyone cared about!


Awww look they're cute.

The annoying chick from The Princess Diaries, Welcome to the Dollhouse and Hostel II, Heather Matarazzo asked her REALLY HOT girlfriend, Carolyn Murphy to marry her.  This horse faced chick must have a GREAT personality.  Acording to Matarazzo's publicist,

I'm so glad that people who are horse faced and play annoying friends in movies can find love too.


We are tracing, I hope you know, we are tracing, we both alone...

John Mayer is fighting the fight to make the Paparazzi be regulated.  He was at city hall the other day and posted what he said in his blog:

And
Unfortunately the police commissioner Gordon... er I mean... LA's police cheif doesn't support this measure:


I feel like the real translation is "I don't care, if people aren't misbehaving then I don't have to go after them and these photo guys have nothing to do with ME".


Why can't I quit you Mr Darcy?  Why?

Colin Firth (oh my love, Mr Darcy), is going to be in a new film production of "A Picture Of Dorian Grey".

mmmmm... Colin Firth playing a hedionist... mmmmmm....


I had to look through like six pages to find a pic of her clothed.

Tila Tequila is still trying to prove she likes girls.  Courtney Semel (whoever that is) was caught getting nasty with the pint sized pin-up-reality-tv-dating girl... thing...  Tila, honey, its ok, you're a ho, just... accept that.

And congresstional canadate Kevin Powell make a stupid mistake on monday.  He told a group of hasidic Jews from Williamsburg, Brooklyn that he'd "bring home the bacon".

Good.Job.There.Genius.

Apparently he was one on MTV... he was on the Real World first season.

O...k...

The day I've been waiting for has arrived.

Carmine Giovinazzo and Brandon Boyd showed up at my house and have offered to have a cage match and whoever wins is going to be my lover.  So while they're getting oiled up and ready to go I thought I would let you all know what's going on in the world of people with alot more money than me...


He's thinking:  If I start them young...

So Tom "I'm a creepy old man" Cruise is being named in an anti-Scientology lawsuit.  I'm so excited by this:

Oh no wait, it gets better.

In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer's wife answered, said he was her husband's homosexual lover.

Fucking awesome.  Thats great, its like when you're in High School and you were mad that someone stole your boyfriend so you told everyone that she was cheating on him?  Or that he has a dick like an infant?  Yea, same shit.

Course Scientology has a lawyer team that OJ would be envious of, I'm sure nothing will come of it, but its still fabulous.


Ali Lohan: Porn Queen?


Ali Lohan went to audition to a thriller movie called Troll, good for her.  Only it turned out the director of the flick has a... checkered directing history.

Apparently Diane Lohan was furious that her little baby was auditioning for this smut director.  She was shocked!  Shocked!  That there was a porn director in the room.  Sure Diane, we all believe you.  And by we all I mean three people who speak French and didn't understand what the article said.




So there was an Earthquake this week, a 5.something, which means people who actually LIVE in California don't care.  James Woods, the star of Shark, was leaving lunch when the quake hit, he gripped onto his car door till it passed.  Then:

James Woods, allow me to say, I love you.


Guess you'll be flashing more cooter to pay this off.

Sharon Stone has been hit with a 1 BILLION dollar lawsuit from the people of China.  The suit is in response to the comments she made about the quake which killed and maimed countless Chinese citizens.  Her response?  "Oh well they treat the Tibetans badly, it must be karma!"

She has apologized all over the place for this one people, just give it a rest ok?

In Politics:




Politicians are just as stupid as normal people, even stupider sometimes, as John McCain's latest add shows us.  The new campaign add shows Paris Hilton and Brit and then Obama and begs the question; does being famous make you a plausible leader?  You can view it here.

Um... no, it doesn't but being a good statesman and not being Bush 2.0 makes him a good idea as the next leader of the US.  I mean the republicans have so throughly fucked the economy and the country that we need a change from the current polocies.  Just not Ron Paul, who doesn't believe in helping people at all and would eliminate every program which gives assistance to the poor or to small business and make sure that crime rates go up (there have been studies done which show a corilation between poverty and crime and poverty and gang violence).

Ok, they boys are done with their oil (and oh how sticky they are), they're going to go do battle now.  Got to go!

*GA*

Ok, so I'm going to publicly diet, I think that showing people what I'm doing will... help.. me... and maybe other people... so here I go.

Goal:

Really?  I want to look good in a bikini.  Or be able to buy clothing at gap and J Crew (I wasn't able to do that when I WAS skinny but...).  Health wise: I'm about 80 lbs over weight (no, not a nut job, have looked up my ideal weight on the internet and my BMI etc...), which needs to go.

I'd like to go from an 16-18 (I hate woman's clothing), to a 8-10.

So here I go (I can't believe I'm about to publish this)
Current Weight:  230
Current bmi:  37.1

First Goal Weight:  200
First goal BMI:  32.3 (still too high).

I would like to be at 200 by late September-ish (I realize that thirty pounds in two months might be a bit much to reach for, I'm not sure though).  My long term goal is 140 with a bmi of 22.6 which would put me in the "normal" range, but, honestly I figure that as like a year goal.

Eating Plan:

-I don't really drink alot of soda so I can't do the easy thing and go "diet only!" and since I don't drink coffee switching to artificial sweetener in that is out too (the rare occasions I do drink it its because of a headache, and splenda and all that crap gives me headaches so).  Drink more water (especially when I'm not at home).  I want to get up to 3 liters a day.

-I drink up to half a gallon of milk (skim) a day, which I shouldn't change.  There is bone density problems in my family.

- Replace up to three meals a week with a salad that has at least three food groups in it (often field greens, chicken, berries and  cheese).

-Eat small meals every two or three hours when I'm up.

-One "bad" meal a week (lots of studies have proven that dieters need to do that or else they're more likely to cheat).

Work Out Goals:
first three weeks:
M:W:F: Elepitical for 30 min (or 250 cal, which ever comes first)

T:TH:Sat:  Toning
-50 sit up crunches
-30 feet in the air
-20 side to side'
-75 standing side to sides.
-weights (flys, curls, rows)
-10 push-ups.

Second three weeks:
Increase calorie to 300 (or time by 20 min)
Increase sets by ten a peace.

Ever three weeks increase as much.

So I'll update this once week, let you know how things are going, tell you about anything that's working well or not so well.

Mommy Mommy!  I want a lolly pop TOO!!!

Britney Spears, negligent parent.

New pics of Brit ignoring her kid have surfaced, no wonder K Fed is the better parent, he at least has his body guards help him out when he's got the kids... actually now that I think of it, I feel like he doesn't go in public with the kids... but people do camp at Camp Britney... I thought she lived in a gated community which prevents that...

Anyhow, she keeps her cigs on a low table where its easy for Sean P to get at them.  And kids will get into anything at their level... just give the kids back to K Fed ok?


this is going to be a great episode...

Perez Hilton is a moron.  He was criticizing Luke Perry for choosing to appear in Law and Order SVU as a cameo over being a regular on the new 90210.  Basically Perry is continuing to try to leave his teen idol status behind, like he has been, and show that he's trying to continue to prove he's actually a satisfying actor (I might even go with good, Jason Preistly too, he was on something I watch... I don't remember what). 

Anyhow, Perez is sitting there going "ohmygodican't BELIEVE he's picking that over 90210"... right, he picked a multi-Emmy winning franchise, which could get him a best guest star nomination of he does well over... a show on the CW... and he'll be in what appears to be a total kick ass episode (the season premier which features him, Julie Bowin and Sara Gilbert).

Course SVU still lacks my Carmine, but its ok, I can wait for the season premier of CSI:Ny... I will be patient...



Perez Hilton is a moron have I mentioned that?  So today he loses 100 smart points (I use smart because I'm not sure he knows the word intelligent).


Uh.... no not gonna happen Katy...

So Katty Perry was all "ooh I wanna make out with Miley Cyrus, mmmmm, under-aged girls..." for the shock value (twit).  Well Miley has turned her down officially.  And more so implied it was just jealousy!

Oh the torrid torrid lives of people not old enough to get liquored up in public.


He's so...... white...

Alecia Keys and Jack White are slated to do a DUET for the new bond movie.  Penned by White, who will also play on the track.  This might just be awesome as long as it doesn't sound like the REST of what the White Strips have done.

And speaking of people who I don't understand why they're famous: 


Cause big girls don't cry...

Fergie is slated to play a hooker in the new movie musical Nine.  The rest of the cast includes Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruze, Daniel Day-Lewis, Kate Hudson and Dame Judi Dench.  And Fergie.  I feel like I need to say that again, and "My Humps" "Fergilicious" "Glamorous" FERGIE.  Its like they cast her for their own amusement "haha, lets see what the pop star does when faced with three (?) Academy Award winners... at least one of them a two time winner... hahahahaha... this is going to be great, we should make it a reality tv show...".

Seth Rogan was caught on top of the theatre at the premier of The Pineapple Express

And no one was surprised...